Respect or Hierarchy? What Should Respect Look Like in Modern Nigeria?

I have been thinking about how we define and show respect in Nigeria. We often describe ourselves as respectful people, yet expectations can vary by culture, age, gender, social status and language. In Yoruba culture, girls may be expected to kneel when greeting elders, while boys prostrate. Titles such as Aunty, Uncle, Boda and Sister also acknowledge seniority. But how do you know who is older when someone looks your age or younger? You may not want to seem rude, but calling every slightly older-looking person Aunty or Boda can also feel awkward. Other Nigerian cultures have their own expectations around elders and authority. Meanwhile, in many Western settings, people use first names even for much older adults without intending disrespect. This raises an important question: have we sometimes confused respect with obedience, fear, age hierarchy or traditional gestures? Can someone be respectful without kneeling, prostrating or using titles? Can someone perform those gestures while treating others without dignity? What does genuine respect look like in modern Nigeria, and where should we draw the line between cultural tradition and unnecessary hierarchy?

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