Why Nigerian Parents Rarely Say “I’m Proud of You”

I remember getting my exam result and telling my mother. Her exact words were, “Ehen, that’s good. Have you eaten?” No “well done,” no “I’m proud of you.” Just straight into food. For many Nigerian parents, love was shown through provision, not words. They grew up with actions—food, school fees, clothes—instead of verbal praise. So that became the language they passed down. There’s also a belief that too much praise “spoils” a child. Some parents hold back to keep you driven, not realising silence can feel like indifference. Emotional openness wasn’t modelled either, so saying “I’m proud” simply never became normal. Today, many adults chase validation they never heard as kids. This generation is consciously trying to break the cycle. We’re learning to speak our pride out loud, even if it feels awkward at first. Have you ever heard “I’m proud of you” from your Nigerian parent?

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