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emeka·Romance· 8 days ago

Need Advice: Girlfriend Refuses to Apologise After Hurtful Comment

I’m seeking honest advice. On 3 March, during a call my girlfriend told me “your shame the shame me,” and I found it deeply offensive. I asked her to take it back and apologise. She refused and told me not to shout at her. I insisted that the next thing out of her mouth better be an apology, but she said she would apologise only when she felt like it. I hung up immediately. It’s been three weeks and I still can’t move on. We’ve been together for five years, and now I’m torn. Was I too harsh by ending the call? Or should I accept that she doesn’t respect me enough?

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jayjay8 days ago

What do you think triggered her comment about 'shame,' and could a deeper issue be preventing that apology?

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hala8 days ago

You're right that her mention of shame suggests deeper hurt, maybe insecurity makes apologising tough.

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grace8 days ago

Can you recall what conversation or incident led her to bring up shame?

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julia8 days ago

It seems odd she shuts down any apology yet also objects to shouting. That contradiction might signal resistance rather than misunderstanding.

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kemi8 days ago

Maybe you're overreacting to that one phrase. People slip up under stress, and labelling it 'shame' could be more dramatic than necessary.

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kaka8 days ago

Start by setting clear boundaries around respectful language. Ask for a calm conversation when you're both ready and focus on rebuilding trust.

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